It's a Forbiden Fruit Commentary!
by HeapsofHorses
Summary: My commentary on Forbiden Fruit: The temptation of Edward Cullen. Enjoy and R&R please :)
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hey everyone! Perhaps you know me from my commentary on Twila, perhaps you just saw this and decided to click on it… Anyway, welcome to It's a Forbiden Fruit Commentary! Hope y'all like it :). Also, this is un-beta'd, and I'm not English, so any mistakes that don't belong to the story itself are mine. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or this horrible piece of Fanfiction (THANK GOD)**

AN hey guys this is the new improved verson **If this is supposed to be the IMPROVED version, I don't want to know what the origingal looked like…** of my story, hope its better this time! **Probably not** btw i am young and have dyslexia i find spellin hard but its meant2 be unformal ok ! **1) If it's meant to be like that, why are you making excuses? And 2) So you actually WANTED this story to suck? Wow…** no critisism pls! tis story goes out 2 my bf zac(kisses!) **If you EVER get concerned about not having a boyfriend yet, just remember this girl has one, so there's probably someone out there for you…** amd my besfreind Tiffi LOVE YA GRRRL! EDWARD IS OUR GODD!(we wanna SEX him gud!)** "We wanna sex him" Dear GOD!** love &blood **No thanks** becky mac! **Becky Mac? What's in a name, huh?** xxx x x xx

UPDATE: I have a proofreader **Is she fictional? I mean, she doesn't seem to do much…** and I have cleaned up the spelling and grammer on this chaptor a hell of a lot **Again, if you call this improved, I don't want to lay eyes on the original…** as you will see (thank u vickie!) **Who is this "vickie"?** i will be imrpoving the next chaptors soon.

Chapter 1 – Altantiana **Remember the way she spells it here. I guarantee you we'll see lots of variations on that before the chapter's over…**

Hey, my names Atlantiana **That's a NAME? Poor girl…** Rebekah Loren (but everyone calls me Tiana or just plain Tiaa). **You know, in Holland, donkeys say something like "i-aa", so I'll be calling you Donkey from now on :). No complaints? Great! It's settled!** I am a 16 year old girl and I live in Forks, Washington!** At least you know how to spell "Washington"…** My hair is long and pale like spun gold and skims to my waist like a pale shimmering amber mist. **Right, because that's not Mary Sue-like at ALL…** My eyes are deep forgetminot blue and my delicate fentures are lilly white and pure as the winter snow in moonlight. **So, let's see… Beautiful hair, beautiful eyes, beautiful skin… Definitely a Mary Sue** I've been told by loads of sleazy, ugly, guys** It's funny only the ugly guys think you are… The pretty ones probably think you're a whore…** that I'm real pretty and look like a model or a bunny girl** Can I disagree?** (some of the guys who like me are really old and try to make opt with me its disgusting and weird!) **They'd just make out with some random girl they don't know? Yeah right…** but basically a lot of the girls I meet tell a different story. **They're probably right…** They say I'm too ivory white and ethereal **What's that supposed to mean?** and too skinny and that I look anorexic which i don't care about, but I think its seriously disrespectful to people with REAL eating disorders (btw i'm so totally not anorexic! I eat loads I just never gain weight and I'm not thin enough to be anorexic anyways, **Is this still the character we're talking about?** I think they were just being BIATCHES especially this one ratty brain called Ellie Mayfair** Nope, we're not talking about the character anymore…** who I hope freaking DIES in PAIN with SHIT ON HER FACE! Sorry, I'm not really such a batch but she is SO horrible if you met her you'd think the same!) **Darlin', if I met this "Ellie Mayfair", I'd cheer her on…**

Anyways I am quite tall and slim and but with really big boobs that I used to HATE **Oh, boohoo, you've got big boobies. You know how many people would kill to look like you?** because they look noticeable on my slender body and draw to much attention but now i like them and don't care who stares at me! ***Bangs head into desk*** I have a lip ring **Any chance you could put one through BOTH your lips at once?** and recently put black and indigo and magenta streaks in my long pale blond hair. **Ew, UGLY!** I smell like mint and cinnamon. **WHY? WHY TELL ME THAT? I don't CARE what you smell like!** I wear mostly black and hot pink, deep purple and neon blue **Yeah, 'cause that's TOTALLY gothic, ya know?** and listen to COOL music! **And what exactly do you call "cool music"?**

It is my first day at school in forks as I just moved here to live with new foster parents Dave and Marie. They are nice and all very hole **What?** some sweet people but it is not like having a real family. **That's why they're called FOSTER parents, sweetheart** I've been hurt to many times to let people close to me and I don't talk to them very much. **Rude, Donkey. Very rude** My real mom died when I was born and I never knew my real dad. I sometimes wonder what he is like and if I will ever get to met him. Dave gave me a ride to school and I smiled faintly as he wished me good luck and I got out of the car and went into the school. Loads of people freaking stared at me **And with reason…** as I walked down the hall. I was wearing tight black leather pants with silver chains at the waste and a red fishnet-like top and you could see my black lacy bra through it. **No wonder they're staring when you're dressed like THAT. I mean, what did you expect?** I ignored whispers and the big pink cheerleader imbosils pointing at me. I was used to it and I paid no at-tension to the guys asking desperately for my number(like hell I'd even LOOK at the horny little donkeys!) **Hold that thought, Donkey** and told a ditsy** What's ditsy?** blond cheerleader called Jessica to STFU(!)** Why put the ! between ( )?** when she called me a freak! **She was right** Next time she tries anything I'll hit her in the eye **Okay, calm down. Only the first chapter, you can't scream already. Count to ten, slowly… Okay, I'm good. On with the action! Oh, right. There isn't any…** cause NO ONE messes with me nemore! My first day I was relay board, I sat gazing out of the window into the gray cloud-embittered sky **How can the sky be embittered? It doesn't have emotions…** for most of the morning, My teachers all looked at me disprovable but said nothing cause they probably new I was a foster kid and a Gothic **That shouldn't have to matter. I always knew it was a crappy school** and didn't want to upset me in case I cut them up as they slept,. ***Bangs head into wall rather violently* You're not really making people LIKE you, you know. You're making them want to punch something…**

My ears are pierced four times, I have a tattoo of a scorpion(like S my birth-sign!) **And you're telling me this, why?** on my ankle and a Gothic cross **Why? You're not gothic. Althought you get points for spelling it right…** on my shoulder, and on my hand i have a weird birthmark in the shape of a seven-pointed star that I've had all my life. Your probably wandering why I'm bothering to tell you this, **YES! Actually, I've been wondering that since this chapter started… It's been nothing but boring, long-winded descriptions up 'till now…** well I tell you now I am no ordinary sixteen year old girl. **Nope, you're a Mary Sue** I have a secret, a dark and forbidden secret **Is this supposed to capture my attention? Sorry, you failed…** witch **Is that a clue or just some misspelled word?** I am only just beginning to understand. When I sleep I hear whispers in another language and even though I understand them at the time, when I wake up i can't remember it! **Then how do you remember dreaming it?** I also see weird faces in my dreams that fade to nothingness when I open my eyes and I swear out the corner of my eye my birthmark glows shocking bright gold and gets relay hot **You SEE it get hot? Isn't that something you should feel?** sometimes but when I look properly it is back to normal boarding scar-color! I am really gracefull like the running anti-lopes when I run very fast and am stronger and faster than most people. ** nbh. Wah! What did I miss? I think I fell asleep there for a moment… With my head on the keyboard…** I used to just think i was relay athletic but now I'm not so sure, **Why not? It's a perfect explanation** I think there might be something else at work, something so much more mysterious and eeire. **Not impressed, not interested. You're really doing something wrong here** The truth hovers so softly on the brink of my memory sometimes but if only i could remember the weird things that clung to the edge of my mind as I slept! ***Bangs head into keyboard* This is SO stupid!**

At lunch I sat alone in the corner and scanned the cafeteria quietly with my eyes smoldering dark blue **Dark blue? I thought you said they were some kind of "deep forgetminot blue"?** beheath my long black lashes and my slim thighs curled under me. It was the n I noticed an unbelievably jaw-droopingly hawt HAWT HAAAAAAAAWT **I understood you the first time, you know** dude with tusseted blondey-brown hair, golden yellow eyes like wells of hot caramel and pale sexy features. **Ah, I was starting to miss the beautifully idiotic comparisons. Always good for a few laughs** He was tall and mussel and looked like he was wearing eyeliner and my body got hot and cold all at once as I looked at him. I'd never felt this way about anyone before and I'd totally never felt this weird feeling that I'd met someone before **I think you're just horny, Donkey** but I had no idea where and i knew it was impassible because I'd freaking remember someone THAT hawt! **He's not THAT handsome** A girl sat next to him with long brown hair with her arms dripped over him like a freaking flesh-eating plant **No comment…** so i thought well whatevah, hes taken. She wasn't nearly as hawt as he was, she wasn't ugly though. I figured I was maybe prettier then her. **Only maybe?** I never really saw myself as beautiful but i'd guessed from thinks others had said, **Who? The UGLY, SLEAZY, HORNY and not to mention OLD guys or the blonde cheerleaders? I mean, they kinda have different opinions…** plus this girl wasn't great looking but anyways I'd never try to pilch with another girls' BF cause thats just low. **Hold that thought, Donkey. Because I GUARANTEE you, in a few chapters, that's exactly what you'll do.** So I got up to leave the hall thinking I'd go and smoke some bald drugs in the locker room while no one was there. **They'd still notice it, Donkey. It's the smell, always the smell…** As I waked over to he exit I couldn't help but notice the hawt pale guys musky eyes **How can EYES be musky?** as they met mine. I locked away hurriedly. I smocked dope in the locker room for a bit then I wondered to my next class. I bumped into someone in the corridor and my bocks fell everywhere! FRICK! FRICK! FRIIIICKK!

"WTF!" I screamed loudly, "watch where your FREAKING going you asshole!" (i have anger problems) **And why are you choosing this moment to tell me? Apart from that I still don't CARE!**

"I'm so so sorry" he said in a voice like wet heaven **How the HELL am I supposed to picture that?** "please forgive me my lady" **Hun, Eddy's from the 20th century, not the Middle Ages or something…**

It was the hawt pale guy! **NO WAY!**

**AN: So, the first chapter. I nearly fell asleep about thrice while reading this through. Hope you enjoyed it more! Anyway, first chapter down, only 7 to go now! See ya later!**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: THANK you SparkleXRiverX for favouriting AND putting this story on alert AND reviewing :). (Thanks, by the way. Gonna need it :)) Happy holidays! (or at least, they started in Holland. I'm so happy!). And I just thought I'd warn you, but Becky is attempting to make a lemon in this chapter, so if you don't like that, well, it shouldn't be too hard to figure out where to stop reading. She's not exactly subtle… On the other hand, it's about as bad as Tara's idea of a lemon, ("he put his thingie in my you-know-what" I mean, seriously?) so it shouldn't be THAT bad to read… Anyway, on with the chapter!**

AN - VINCENT or watever ur name is thanx 4 the LAME reviw.** GO VINCENT!** u totall D*** no one is MAKIN u reed this fic if you dont like it then leave. **No, flaming is way too much fun**

Clestal zodiac and brittany j - thanx for the advice on my character but shes not a marysue, **Yes she is…** she's not "perfect" look she has anger problems** So?** and she looks the way she does 4 a reason** You've got a reason to make a person look perfect but she's still not a Mary Sue? That's something I'd like to see…** i will explain it as the story goes on.

Chapter 2 – edward **This is probably the ONLY time in the whole story she's able to spell it the right way…**

The anger faded form my sapphire **First forgetminot, then dark blue, now sapphire? Jesus girl, just decide already!** eyes

"whatevah" i said sweatily** Sweatily? Right…** "I didnt mean to yell and to be ride"

"thou are too beuatiful for that" **Once again, Eddy's from the 20th century, not the Middle Ages or whenever they talk like that!** he said, and for once I didnt feel like cockdroppingthe guy for paying me a compilement, **Why would you do that anyway?** instead I just smiled.

"I'm Ewdard **Here we go. Starting with: Ewdard!** Cullen" he mermered **He WHAT?** "who are thee?"

"Altatntiana** This just gets worse and worse**Loren but you can call me Tiana or mabye Tiaa" **DONKEY!** i said feeling shy at the way he was looking at me. I had seen THAT look in so many male eyes but never quite as intense or sexy!** Of course not…** His eyes burned like hot gold velvet in the midday sun like peonix feathers and rainbows, so gold and magical.** Does anyone happen to have a bucket somewhere? I think I'm gonna puke…**

"thou reminds me of bygone times"** And you make me want to punch something. Her face, preferably. Or yours** he said, carefully retching** See? Now Eddy's retching too!** out a shaking hand and brushing my cheek "thy face is like an old painting, **Yeah, because old paintings TOTALLY have piercings, purple hair and whore clothes…** thou is exceptional""** Fine, she's exceptional, but not in a good way…**

"your not so shanky** What?** yourself but i couldn't help noticing you have a fricking GF, you ass! I saw u with her in the cafeteria!" I notched his hand hard with my long black nails.

"thee DID notice me then?" **Seriously? THAT'S the bit you decided to focus on?** he purred with a sly grin. I was up against the wall with his face right close to me now. He wanted to sex me I could tell, **How on EARTH would you be able to tell that? **and suddenly he was kissing me! I felt like my slim legs would break in half **Why? I don't see the connection…** and my heart expanded like a big balloon**. If that balloon pops, will you die?**I fell his hand sliding softly down my neck an underneath my top. He stoked my breasts for a few minutes and his man-carrot **HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA! Man-carrot! Dear LORD, so funny!**standing in action and hard as a rock against my legs. And then he ripped my top and pulled it of me and doped it on the floor. **Err, okay?** We made out for 10 minutes and then he tried to take of my bra but I pushed him away suddenly thinking WTF Tiaa **Yeah, What the Hell, Donkey?** are you just gonna let this total stranger take your cloths off in school where anyone could see you? **Apparently, yes** I'd never let a guy kiss me before or touch me and suddenly I was letting this cheating sicko with a FRICKIN GF grope me just cause he was uber hawt with sexoy hair and cold as death! **Even now you're still calling him sexy and hot. On the other hand, I'm not sure if she meant for the "cold as death" bit to be a compliment or not…**I was acting like a biatch and a slut and I was suddenly very ashamed of my actions. **You should be**

-BASTARD! Never touch me again!" i gapsed **You didn't have any problems with him touching you five minutes ago…**

"If thou thinks thou can keep thou hands of me!" he answered all smug, and I couldn't believe how he made me feel so angry and so aroosed at the same time. **Ow! I think I bit on my lip hard enough to make it bleed… Couldn't help it. It was a choice between my lip or the mouse…** At that moment I'd never HATED anyboy more in my whole life and the worst part of it was he was SO FREAKIN HAWT I was totally creaming my pantiesand he NEW it, this was horible! **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! NO, YOU'RE THE HORRIBLE ONE! IT'S HATING OR LOVING, CAN'T BE BOTH! ARGH, you MORON!** **Okay, I think I'm done now… **I felt disguised with myself and turned to leave.

"Wait! I need to speck to thee! I no your secret tiaa" **What secret? **he said in a quiet voce gassing into my eyes"your one of my kind. who made thee ? **I'm gonna cheat here, and pretend I didn't read Twilight. And you might be a what?**are you part of a coven or on thou own?

"what-is said sharply -dude your insane! And you freakin SMELL! (he didnt really smell but I didnt no what else to say!) **THEN DON'T SAY ANYTHING! DEAR LORD!**

"thy a CAMPIRE tia!** A what?** a VAMPIRE! **Vampire, campire, but what are you?** BUT WHY CAN'T I READ THOU MIND? I THOUGHT BELLA WAS THE ONLY ONE BUT HERE THOU ARE! **Just what we needed. Another "special" ability…** WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEEEEAN!" **It means you sound like a whiny child that just lost his favourite toy…**

He punched the wall with his buckly fist and shouted suddenly furious and his eyes flickered red. **Ooooh, now I'm so NOT scared…** I schleppedhim hard across the face and tried to leave but he caught my wasteand as I struggled and tried to hit him again **Still not scared** he caught my hand in mid air and hammed me against the wall **Nope, not scared AT ALL** where his hand had already made a huge dint in the wall. His face was blunt and right heavy in mine. **How can you tell his face was heavy?** My knee came up hard against his massive throbbing gigglestick **Oh my, and I thought man-carrot was bad…**between his legs and he drubbed over in pan. **He what?** I broke free and goaded my booksand started rugging **Really? Did you have a magic carpet? Can I borrow it?** away to math, but edward hand finished with me.** WHAT?**

"TIAAAAAAAAAAA NOOOOOOOOO!" **No, what? You've got to be more specific…** he screamedafter me tearing his shrit of himself in fury **What the Hell?** and throwing it over my eyes. **Why?**I lost my sight **No SHIT Sherlock…** and was behind me breathing into my ears.

"i'm sorry tiaa" he wimpered sadly** Mood swings…** picking me up off the floor **When did she fall down anyway?** and gazing mutely into my eyes "i didnt mean to rut thee! I'm so contemptuos! I APOLOGIZE! THIS IS JUST SO WEIRD!" **Don't feel too bad, this whole story is weird…**

"YOUR so frickin weird you mean!" I snaped **Not funny** whitely **Whitely? What the…** as he lay on the floor **Now HE'S on the floor. When did that happen?** so hawt and crying with his shirt off with his pippling body. **And you're still commenting on his (apparent) hotness… Focus, Donkey!** I wanted to forgive him for calling me a vampire (VAMPIRE! I'd heard that one before from preppy losers asking if I sleep in a coffin and suck blood like LETSAT **YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT! HANDS OFF OF LESTAT, YOU FILTHY BITCH! YOU DON'T HAVE THE FRIGGIN' RIGHT TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT HIM, YOU FAKE IDIOT! HE'S A MILLION TIMES BETTER THAN YOU IN EVERY WAY, DON'T YOU KRIFFIN' DARE PICKING ON HIM! AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF YOU DIDN'T EVEN MANAGE TO SPELL HIS NAME RIGHT! ARGH, I FRIGGIN' HATE YOU! LESTAT IS NOT PREPPY, OR STUPID OR WHATEVER! LESTAT IS AWESOME AND DON'T YOU DARE EVEN IMPLYING HE'S STUPID! LEAVE LESTAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR STORIES! HE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS!** just cause I like eyeliner and listen to Linken Park) **WHY? THERE ISN'T ANY CONNECTION AT ALL BETWEEN EYELINER, LINKIN PARK AND LESTAT DE LIONCOURT! YOU *********! AND BY THE WAY, WHICH GIRL DOESN'T LIKE EYELINER? THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU SPECIAL OR ANYTHING SO STOP TRYING TO SAY YOU ARE! Argh, I think I might be done now. Holy Christ, I HATE that girl…**and making fun of me **When did Eddy make fun of you?** and trying to force me against the wall and maybe plunder my crevises **Plunder your crevices? What the HELL?**but i didnt. I left him crying on the floor and went to find my class. **Riiiiight…** As I entered math class i suddenly droped my bocks again **Clumsy, much?** as a flashing pain burned in my left hand as my brithmark glinted gold for a second (NO JOKE!) **Why would I think it's a joke? Seriously.** then I fell over. The pain was suddenly gone and some weirdo blond freak called Eric **Eric's hair is BLACK, Donkey, not blonde. Get your facts right!** was helping me up and staring at me like a pervo rapist.** Or perhaps he's just being nice…** I kicked him in the sholder (kung fu babie!) **What? **as he gazed longingly after me. **So, just to be clear, you kicked him in the shoulder (no idea how, but okay…) and he's still staring at you like you're the best thing in the entire world? Suuure…**In his frickin dreams. I sat down at the back of the class unable to think about anythin but my weird enconter with edward cullen, **I didn't think it was weird, just disgusting…** wondering what it all could mean. **He's an evil rapist with mood swings? See, it's not that hard to figure out…**

AN what do u think PLEASE R n R?. **Sure, I could rant about the fact you ******* DARED to bring Lestat into this mess, or about the fact this story sucks, or I could tell you why Donkey is a complete and utter Mary Sue, or tell you never to use the words "gigglestick" or "man-carrot" ever again… **BIG SHoutout 2 my friend abigail gud luk for 2moro!)did u see i put the man-carrot thing in!) **Oh, so now I know who to blame!** LMAO! **I'm not** Also love 2 tiffi & rach **Remember these names, we'll see them again in a few chapters…**(and zaccibaby **Poor guy…** of corse!) LOVE U GUYZ SO MUCH!X X X beckymac x x

**AN: Thank GOD that's over! Really, just HORRIBLE! But I started it, so now I have to finish it :). Only six chapters to go now, please review and see you next time!**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hey everyone! Thank you SparkleXRiverX for reviewing, I hope you all had a Merry Christmas! On another note, I've decided to write the alternative ending for Twila, not sure when it will be up, but I'll give you a warning when it is. **

**Warning: Attempt to write rape at the end of the chapter. If you don't like that, stop reading when Donkey gets water thrown over her head.**

**I think that's everything, now on with the chapter!**

AN - hi guys hope u like this one **Probably not** im quite proud of it! **Oooh, boy. Never a good sign…** thanx for the suport from my frends love u girls!glad u like it! oh an VINCENT ur so dumb of course tiaa didnt go to math in only her bra **Really?** shes not a total ditz! **She ISN'T? Evidence says she is** one more time...DONT READ IF U DNT LIKE IT!NO frickin flames what is the POINT of flamin **It's fun** ppl there is NO POINT **I just told you there is** so f off! **No**

Capter 3 - uncle larry **My favourite character of this entire story**

I sa t alone watching tv at dave and maries house. I couldnt stop thinking about my encounter with Ewdard Cullen earlier that day. **The one where you made him cry and then flew away on your magic carpet? Or the one before that?** He was so beuatifull and sexoy with such amazing hair and eyes I could hardly believe he had notice someone like me! **Yeah, 'cause who would notice a girl with shimmering hair, deep blue eyes and big boobs? Totally crazy right? Right…** But I was angry at how he had made me feel, how I'd burnt like crimson hot flame wean he touched me and how he'd not listened to me when id' told him to fring off, **If you didn't like that, then go to the police…** and how he dared to touch me at all when he had a GF anyways, even if she was a mean girl with an ugly heart and not that hawt. **I thought she "seemed okay"?** But nomatter how much I try to hate him, I simply couldn't. Suddenly the phone range **Wow, sudden change of subject…**

"hello "

"hey, is that altantiana?"

"yah who is this?" I aksed.

"its Mike nooton **Mike who?** from your class! I was wondering if your wanted to go to La Plush **What's La Plush?** with me too morrow night maybe? Theres a party on the beech with whole crowd of us going and I thought you seemed relay nice **You haven't even spoken to her for two seconds, and probably only saw her for five minutes…** so I thought maybe youd want to me my date please? –

"arent you the guy who hangs out with all the pathetic **Who're you calling pathetic?** chearleaders and stuff?" **"And stuff"… What do you mean?** I asked

"you mean bella and jessica's gang? **Since when are they in a gang?** Sometimes I guess but theyr'e way shallow **Believe me, Mike. Donkey's even WORSE** and not as hot as you. **Since you only care about appearance anyway, you're shallow too! You're pretty much calling the kettle black, here…** And they can be mean sometimes.-"

"then why do hang out white them then you shallow CREEP! **Why are you calling him a creep?** and why are you askin me out when you harely no me mike! **Because he likes wasting his time with idiots…** Cos u think im' hot? Why cant you see your just as shallow if you want to date someone just cost of what they look like -I'm not THAT pretty anyways! **No, of course not…** And even if i was, I'm SO screwed up in the bran you cant even imagine! **If that's the case, why are you still living in a normal home?** u would no want to date me if you new how screwed up I was!" ***Bangs head into keyboard***

"I would, tia, beleive me I would! **No you wouldn't **Your so beautiful you cant even imagine. **Where did I put that bucket? I lost it after last chapter…** Your so pretty people lose there minds when your around and forget there names and forget to brethe! **Oh, please** How can't you have noticed that? **Because she only has attention for two things: 1) Herself, and 2) Eddy **And I don't CARE how screwed up you are! It only maked you more interesting! **Oh, PLEASE!** Your cool and different and you are honest **No she isn't** about stuff! you are right to be angry with me. I'm sorry for benign shallow and dumb **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! OH COME ON!** just give me a chance to show you how much I care, please? "

"well...ok maybe ill go along if I dont have anything else to do" i said, not believing a word he said about how pretty i was. **Seriously? THAT'S the only part you could focus on? That only proves my point, you know…**

"thank you altantiana thank you so much!" he sounded so happy **If I asked you to kill yourself, would you do it too? It would make me happy…** I couldnt help but smile as I put the phone down but my smile faded as I return to my thoughts. Mike Nooton was kinda cute and seemed like an ok guy but he was nothing next to Ewdard Cullen. **Who's Ewdard?** Even though I was anger with edward than I have ever been with anyone in my life and part of me wanted to chop his head off **Then DO it!** with a sore, **A what?** a part of my soul would all ways remain in that coridoor where we had kissed so hard and passionably. ***Screams loudly while banging head into the wall violently*** I creamed myself. **Ew, gross** My heart had soared that day like never before, and i new that no one else would ever make me feel like that again, then I thought how he was a cheater and a bastard and my face burnt with shame. **It should** I couldn't beleive I had behaved like such a hore. **Surprisingly, or, well, UNsurprisingly, I can…** I was scared of the affect he had on me.

"bye tiaa! We'll be back on Thursday ok?" **Wait, what?** mari put her head rind the door suddenly

"Ok then, have fun" **Hang on, hold on. What's happening now?** I wispered clammily..dave and marie where visiting relatives for a few day. **When did that happen?**

"you look so pretty" **Right, because that's not creepy at all…** she says, smiling -your the prettiest gril i've ever seen!" **Suuure…**

"omg whatever" **You know she's your MOTHER, right?** I reply. I hated it wen people say that. **Yes, you've said that about 20 times now. I think I get it…** I pulled my blond hair over my face. I was wearin **Here we go** a short hot pink dress **How can a dress be hot?** cut low with black lace frills at the bottom and black lace stocking. **Why choose this moment to tell me this? **

"daves brother larry will be looking after you wile where gone you'll be ok when where gone wont you tiaa? **Donkey!** I hate to leaven you alone like this!" **You just said she wouldn't be alone…**

"i don't need a freakin babysiter u no!" i was so embarasing, I could look after myself! **Evidence points in the opposite direction…**

Marie smiles and leaves the house.

"greeting **What's wrong with a simple "hello"?** a;latnaniana **What?** my names uncle larry" said uncle larry, he came in threw the door he was fat and bald with tiny black eyes and a red face **Sounds nice…**

"Hey - i said

"your the orphan arent you" he says "is it true you kiled your mother when she gave birth to you?" **What? Whatever…**

"Wat!" I cry, my eyes filling with tears

"your an evil bich arent u? Go outsite and wash my car" he shouts angerly **Err, okay? I think…**

I stood up and left to wash his car. I got soap and a bucket, afraid of what he would do if I refuzed. I went outside and started to wash hush car it was a red porche. **So he's rich too, huh?** He came outside and wached me and I new he was waching me! **Yes, you just said he watched you…** After a minite he came over and hit me hard across the face

"wft!" i shouted **What fuck the? What's that supposed to mean? And by the way, people who don't like Becky's lemons should probably stop reading NOW. I'm gonna keep on commenting though…**

He poored the bucket of water all over me and hit me again,. I was wet and crying ***Facepalm*** and he started to rip my dress and bra of me and rip my clothes. **You're in broad daylight, on a street where more people are than just you** He touched my naked breats and I try to push him off me I screamed at him to stop but he did'nt. **Screaming too? Are you seriously trying to tell me NONE of the neighbours even THOUGHT about going and seeing what it was all about?** He bent me over the bonet of his car and spanked me on the ass for half an hour **Still no neighbours** then he pulled my panties down and started to rape me! **Perhaps they DID see, but they just didn't care. Hmm, *thinking***

"stop raping me!" I cry but he didnt stop! **Who does?** The pain was terrible even tough his manhood was small.** *Facepalm*. Again** I cryed and cryed but he didnt stop for hours **HOURS? And you're telling me NO ONE saw, even though you're on a street, in full daylight, with people walking past you?** and when he finally stopped he left me on the floor and spat in my face and left me there. **You already said that…** I pulled on my clothes and cryed madly and ran off into the seething **Seething? How's that possible? **darkness of the midnight street. **Wait, when did it become midnight?** I ran and ran un till I came to some woods and then I fell down in the woods and cryed. **People who skipped over the lemon, it's safe to read again. **

Suddenly a blast of white light exploded in head **I hope your head exploded with it** and my mark on my hand burned like a flame. **Oh, please** I closed my eyes and saw the face of a tall white man looking over me with no expression, his eyes were burning red and his face glimmered cold and bright as the moon,. **Three words, really. What. The. Hell?** I fell back from the brightness of his body, his hair was dark as night,.

"atlantiana?" he whisperd in a voice softer than clouds -my daughter?- **Ooooh, the suspense!**

"omg" I whisperd as my mind went blank and the world went dark. **Hallelujah! An entire sentence with only ONE spelling mistake!**

**AN: Well, end of the chapter. Thank god. Anyway, third chapter done and over with, only 5 to go, please review and see you later!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Hey all! Thank you ThoseEvilDucks for favouriting, another Thank you to DJ1992 for putting this story on alert and yet another Thank you to Erin Primette for reviewing(I know right? It's just stupid…). And I'm almost done with the alternative ending. Just not sure about the final bit yet :)**

**Warnings for this chapter include talking/thinking about past rape and the start of a lemon at the end of this chapter, but it's not that bad.**

**Now, on with the chapter!**

AN = No flames pls, theres no point! **I already told you, there IS** if u dnt like my story dnt read it, its as simple as that! btw atlantiana **She actually spelled it RIGHT for once!** is NOT marisue **She ISN'T? It's gonna take a hell of a lot of GOOD reasons to convince me of that…** be cause look she is NOT perfect** Not perfect? Yeah, right** and not everyone in the stiry likes her!** True, but all the IMPORTANT people do…** she has problems and she has flaws **Donkey has flaws? Where?** and shes UNHAPPY would u like her life? **I'd have a "beautiful" boyfriend, nice looks, nice parents who don't seem to care about me ignoring them and all the important people would like me… Yeah, I would very much like to have her life, thank you** i no i wouldnt, its totally tragic and horible. **No it isn't** u flamers arent even makin sense1** You're the one that isn't making sense…**

Chapter 4 – la push

I sat quitely on the la push beech apart form the party that was going on beside me. Mike Nooton was following me round like a pulpy **A what?** and he was so borin! **And here I thought you might actually get to like someone that ISN'T gothic. I should know better by now…** None of the things he had to say were interesting but I was nice to him because he wasnt a bad guy. **So you're leading him on… That's not nice, Donkey** My thoughts were elsewhere - i could'nt stop thinking about the events of last night, when uncle larry had raped me **If you hate it so much, why haven't you gone to the police yet?** and I had had my scary vision in the forest and a tall p[ale guy in my mind had cale me his daughter. **That's not scary, that's just weird** I didnt understand any of I felt so so awful that I had been rapped by that hideous pervy SICKO **GO TO THE POLICE!** when I had bin saving myself for the right guy and for marriage and my virginity **So that's what you're concerned about? Your VIRGINITY? Dear GOD** was torn from my grasp by that twisted guy, it was so crule and unfair, it made me want to cry **POLICE *hint hint***

"omg MIKE watt are you doing talkin to HER?" **Ooooh, boy. Here we go** I turned round and saw four nasty faces learing at us. **Popcorn, anyone?** It was the chearleaders I had seen in the cafetearia, and one of them was the girl dateing Ewdard Cullen, **1)No no no, I think you got it all messed up. Bella's dating EDWARD and not EWDARD… and 2) Yup. DATING! Which means you should stop helping him cheat on his relationship…** the brown hare girl who was standing at the back looking moody but not saying anything **Yeah. Bella's good at looking moody…**

"Stop being mean Jessica" mike said angerly "tiaas' **DONKEY!** awesome and if you can't see that its just you bein blind and shallow and stupid like your all ways are" **I'm not sure if you're one to talk, Mike Nooton**

"yah I mean look at her clothes, she looks like a stupid goth biaach with her slutty top and short skirt and fithnet tights is she a RAT HOOKER **YES YES YES YES! I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE!** or what?" Jessica **THANK YOU JESSICA!** screamed. She was realy ugly when she shouted even though she was technology a hot chick and was dressed in skimpy pink clothes. **Of course she wears pink. Next you're gonna tell me she's a prep too or something like that…**

"you no what Jess, you and YOur frends are SO shallow and YOU are the real slut! you and bella and angela and laruen may were short skirts and low cut tops an stuff **So does Donkey. I don't see your point…** but that doesnt maek u beautiful! Its watt underneath that counts!" **But… Donkey's got a really rotten character too. Where's the attractive bit in her?** mike shouted

"yah, speakin of witch" **Speaking of what?** said a sly blond girl in the gang who was called lauren, pointing at me "watts with her breasts, they are huge, I bet they are fake!- **Where did THAT come from?** she laughed and her friends all laughed too even bella and angela who had been quiet until then. **And where did THAT come from?**

I got up and pushed past them and ran away into the darkness. **Wait. When did it get dark?** I cold hear them all laughing at me and i felt so embarrased I was relay sensitive about the waste I looked **You're right. You ARE a waste. And by the way, Donkey? Could you PLEASE stop complaining about your looks? We've been over this…**I hated the fact that it made all girls hate me and all guys stare at me, I would have given anything to be ugly or just inviable. **In- What? I assume you mean "invisible"? Or…** I wasnt stuck up and didnt think I was beta than anyone else because of how I looked **No, of course not…** I just wanted people to treat me like a normal person! **Really? START ACTING LIKE IT!** I could'nt help being slim and blond with relay big boobs it wasnt my fault I hadnt done anything wrong! **You did. You got born…**

-are u ok?" said someone from beside me

"who arr you?" i asked. 3 realy pretty goth girls **Yeah. Only goths can be pretty, ya know? All the other ones are at best "okay" and at worst "totally hideous"** were standing there smilin at me and I smiled back

-we are tyffani, abigaille and rochelle" **Ha! I TOLD you they'd be back!** they said smiling "you seem cool, do you want to be our freinds?"** Yeah, 'cuz it's perfectly normal to walk up to a random person you find crying in a dark forest and ask that…**

"ya of course, i'm just a bit meloncolly **"Meloncolly"? What do you and Twila have with melons? I mean, Twila thought she would be a "mellonair", whatever that may be…** cause those horrible chearleaders were bein mean jerks and saying my boobs were fake" **They probably are…** i said

"omg, u mean jessica and bellas gang? **Wait what? How would YOU know that?** They hate us too because we dont care what they think" said tyfanni "they are just jealous cause youre the prettiest girl in the school now and theyre all plain next to you but we dont care about stuff like that, **No, of course not…** we only care about peoples personalities " **Yup. All you care about is if a person is a "goth" or a "prep"…**

"cool" I said, and we talked for hours

I talked to tyfanni, rochelle and abigail for hours **You already said that** and they were so cool. I'd never had proper freinds before who didnt care watt i looked like **But you see, they DO care about that. If you'd worn pink clothes they would have avoided you like the plague…** or where I came from they just liked me for me, and I liked them cause they were uber cool and we had loads of stuff in common! **You're all goths and you're all dumb…** But after a while they all went home and I stayed on the beech. It was getting late **I thought you said it was already dark? What, a day went by without me noticing?** but I didnt want to go home to uncle larry in case he raped me on his car again. Soddenly I heard a voice from behind me.

"well tiaa, thou seem to be causing quite a stir at school" his voice was smooth and sexoy and from another time. **Yeah. 20th century. That's not THAT long ago…** Edward.

"what do you mean!" I demanded

"basically every gay at school wants to have sex with thee,** Every GAY? Somehow I doubt that…** and every girl wants to eat thee alive for it, hows that for causing a stir my lady?" he smiled and kissed my neck. **Kill me now please**

"shut up jerk! Btw I met youre girlfriend before, bella I think her name is! I dont like her or anything, but how the hell can u cheat on her like that **Yeah, play the noble one, Donkey…** and kiss me how u did? Its sick ur a cheatin bastard and i should tell everyone. **Then DO IT, MORON!** Tyfanni told me you and bella are like the schools golden couple or something, **Or something, yeah…** watt would happen if I told ppl how you had acted in that corridoor with me?"

"OMG SWEET LADY! THY MUST NOT TELL ANYONE! " he screamed "it was a moment of madness thats all! Im so so sorry for watt happened,i hope thine can forgive me, **There's one thing I hate more than Eddy using words like "thou" and "thee" and whatever like he's from the 16th century, and that's if he uses it WRONG. STOP IT!** but ive promised myself to bella and thats just how it is, no matter how much thou intrests me"

"fine, then stay away from me " **One second you want him to do whatever to you, the next you're shouting at him to get his ass away from you. What do you WANT? I don't understand anymore…** I shouted as I left to go home but he followed me and grabbed me and pushed me down on the grind. **And you're complaining about Larry for raping you? Eddy's just as bad… **I was burning with anger and fury but I wanted him so deafly **Deafly? I don't think that's the word you're looking for…** i didnt even try to resist him. **People against semi-graphic lemons should stop reading NOW** He new how much i wanted him and it drove me mad. He put his hands inside my panties and i gasped. I was soddenly desperate to sex with him **What was that phrase again? "Takes one to know one", right? Slut…** and i tore my clothes off and i was in my underwear. I took off my bra and showed him my naked heaving beasts.

"have sex with me now edward " I whispered

" i cant " he said, although his body was on top of mine and his fingers touched my nipples **I'm getting some REALLY mixed signals here… What on EARTH is happening?**

"please, i'm begging you" I said, hating myself for being such a dirty hore but unable to control my burning desire **Kill me now please, and you can start reading again…**

-NOOOO!" he shouted and ran away crying. **Wow, he REALLY overreacted…**

I put my clothes back on slowly feeling so ashamed and embarased i could hardly move. I could'nt beleive i had begged him to do sex on me **"Do sex on me" Dear GOD** and even worse he had said no! **With good reason…** I went home and uncle larry made me cook his dinner and suck his cockwhile he ate his food and then he raped me and hit me with a shoe all night **I thought it was "late" already? Did we enter another wormhole or something?** and i didnt even complain cos i felt like i deserved it for being such a horrible slut **Ha! Even YOU'RE admitting it now!** even though it made me want to die inside. **Oh, PLEASE** Uncle larry finally left me alone and I thought about killing myself **Stop thinking and just DO IT!** as i cryed and cryed as i fell slowly into a dreamless sleep.

**AN: Well guys (and girls), that's chapter 4. We're halfway! Please review and see you next time!**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Hey all! First of all, Thank you I'm awesome and y'all know it for putting this story on story alert AND for reviewing(thrice! Yay!). **

**Warnings: not really, except for some rape mentioning and talk about sex, but that's all, at least, not counting the utter stupidity of this chapter in general…**

**Now, on with the chapter!**

AN - can i have some reveiws pls? **Yeah sure. A rant or a flame? Or maybe both?**

Chapter 5 - the talent contest

It was a week later and I felt like I was slowly dying inside. **Police. Police. Police. Police. Seriously, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!** My life had crumbled into pieces and I was alone in the horrible darkness of my mind. **Where's my bucket? This is horrible** the four chearleaders had folowed me a round schooland been mean to me for the last week making fun of my clothes **With good reason** and my purple streaked blond hair **With even BETTER reason, I mean, that's just UGLY** and saying i was too slim and that i had boobs like a pron star. It relay upset me. **Why? As I've said before, most girls would KILL to have a body like yours…** and also uncle larry had taken my clothed off and rapped me loads of times last week** I love the way she can say that like it's no big deal at all…**and even though dave and marie were back home now every time they went out to different places they left me with him **Wait what? How much time just went by? They haven't even been home for a DAY and they're leaving again… Then again, if I had a daughter like Donkey, I'd probably do the same…** and he hit me and made me sleep with was so horrible I wanted to die every time it happened. **POLICE! COME ON!** Edward Culen stared at me whenever he saw me at school but i just anchoredhim **You what?** and pretended he wasnt there i was so embaresed about watt had hapenned and I hated him for the way he made me feel and the fact that he was a cheater and an ass. **Then why do you keep on begging him to "sex on you" or whatever? **I would probably have ended my life that week if it hadnt been for my lovley new freinds abbigaille rochelle and tyfanni, **WHY? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BEFRIEND THEM?** who were all totally cool and helped me fight off the evil chearleaders - i hadnt told my freinds aboit uncle larry and ewdard **Why not? I thought you liked them?**but it was nice to have some peopel who liked me anyways. I sat in the cafeteira with them at lunch

"hey tiana are you doing the talent contest tonite?" rochelle asked me

"no way im not good enough!" i said shyly

"omfg are you kidding! yor a AMAZIN singer **Another point to add to the "Mary Sue" list…** your the best iv'e ever heard, no joke!" **Wait, when did she sing?** shouted Abigail

"thank you but your just being nice, im' not THAT good an even if i was i wouldn't perform. I mean i hardly want to contract more attension to myself than i already have, **Sorry, not working** the whole school is all ready talking about me saying watt a freak i am. ***Facepalm*** I just wanna be an average person" ***Bangs head into wall***

"come on tiaa you HAVE to do it!" **She doesn't want it, so FUCK OFF!** tyffanie said, "jessica and bella and the chearleaders win every time with there dumb dance routine it is so annoying, they arent even talented someone needs to teach them a lesson hun!"** Yeah, but not Donkey. Please not Donkey**

"I dunno maybe" I pimpled **What?** mutely but I had no intension of actually doin it. **Of course not…**

Later on me and my freinds sat in the crowd and wached the contest. The chearleaders did there dance ruotine and they werent that awesome, they were just wearing slutty cloths so all the guys could stare at them and cause they were popular no one was allowed to say they sucked. ***Facepalm, followed by me banging my head into the keyboard violently*** At the end bella ran into edwards arms and I felt flames of jelusy burning up inside me. **I thought you hated him?** they kissed for a long time and although he looked at me the whole time **Okay, calm down. Don't lose your temper, count to ten… Okay I'm good** i still wanted to cry and scream.** Can I scream instead? Yeah? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! Thank you**

The principal caked **He WHAT?** up on the stage and said

"and now for our final act...atlantiana rebeckah loren!" **Surprise! Or not** everyone looked at me and I was shocked

"omfg who put my fringing name down for this!" I screamed

"who knows girl just get up there !" abbie pushed me towards the stage and I went up there.

I sang total eclipse of the heart **One Direction did a cover of that once too. Listening to it right now. It's good** (punkrock verson so it wasnt sappy and lame or anythin!0 **Nothing wrong with the original** and everyone watched me. I was embarased at first but everyone semed to be enjoying themselves (exept the chearleaders who looked totally mad!LOL) ***Facepalm*. This is SO stupid!** so I sang louder and louder and my voice soared higher than ever was like magic. **Weren't you the one that said you weren't a good singer? And now suddenly your voice is like magic?** I was waering **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!** a purple lacy top cut low enough that you could see my bra **Ew. No wonder everyone's staring…** and a black skirt and purple fishnets and spiky black heels. **WHY TELL ME THIS NOW? **the song finished and everyone looked happy and clangled **Did they wear little bells?** at me and i went blushing to sit on my friends

"remind me to kill wichever one of you beeches put my name down for this!-" i said but i was smiling

"LOL" **Why the "LOL"?**shouted rochelle "it wasnt us you no!"

"and the winner is...ATLANTIANA REBECKAH LOREN! " **Surprise! Actually, no, it's not…** the principal screamed extatically. I went back up onto the stage and shock his hand and everyone appladed me and screamed my name except for jessica and bella who looked like they were about to kill me, lmfao. **I'm not** My eyes strayed to where edward stood gazing baldly at me. I all most fainted right then at the sight of him looking so hawt and gorgeous. **MY BUCKET! I LOST MY BUCKET AND I NEED IT NOW!** I dnt think anyone else had noticed but he had a MASSIVE erection **Ew** it was so hawt and sexoy. **No, it's gross**I saw bella and jessica storming out of the room angry that i had won, and I smiled.

Later on i walked home happily, then a car purred up beside me. It was ewdard! **Who else did you expect? Seriously…**

"get in the car i'll drive thee home sweet lady" he said in his beautiful old fashioned speech. **Beautiful old fashioned speech from the 20th century, yeah** I did as he told me without knowing **What? You went with him, but you didn't KNOW you went with him?** were quiet for a minite **What?**

"you were awesome tonight, you have a stunning voice like silk and satin in the moonlight. ***Facepalm*** You looked beyond beautiful up on that stage, like an old painting in a church. i wanted to charge right at u and kiss thine **THY! IT'S THY THY THY!** lips right there" he still had a huge erection **Ew. **and i wanted to touch it so badly but i didnt.

"i think BELLA might have had somethin to say about that!" i snapped **You have got no right to say ANYTHING. Especially after admitting you wanted to touch his fucking ERECTION** "where is she neway?"

"at home sulking cause she lost the contest and had a total hissy fitand cryed for hours because thee was better than her in the contest"

"how mature" I said sacastically. **Like you're one to talk** At that moment edward pulled his car to the side of the road and looked me in the touched my hand and I slapped him hard in the face

'YOU WILL NEVER TOUCHE ME AGAIN U SICKO!" **So, he can't touch you, but you CAN touch him? Where's the logic in that?** I wailed and kept hitting him in the face and chest "last week I fuckin BEGGED u to sex on me and you turned me down!** Exactly! What's WITH all those mood swings?** I have never been so humilated in all my frickin LIFE! Watt the hell is wong with u? One mimite your all over me and the next its like i dnt even exist! **You're doing exactly the same. Except you're wanton one moment and angry the next** dnt fuckin touch me. EVERR!"

"its complecated tiaa my lady. Im sorry i hurt thine **THY! THY THY THY! COME ON!** feelings. Its just i cant resist thee, but i cant be with thy **IT'S THEE! USE YOUR FRIGGIN' BRAIN!** either. I never ment to drag thou **THEE! IT'S THEE!** into this mess, its not thee **THY! THY! NOT THEE, THY! Dear GOD!** fault i totally ruin everything. Im so SO SORRY. IM DESPISABLE!" **YES! WE FINALLY AGREE ON SOMETHING!**

"its me or her "i said bluntly ***cough*choose Bella*cough***

"i cant make that choice tiaa - he wept** Just choose Bella**

"you are going to have to!"

"first thee have to tell me who thou relay are!" he said "who were thy parents?what are thee?"

"my mom dies when I was bored, **HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! NOW I'm laughing my ass off… I mean, there's so much wrong with that sentence we'd be here tomorrow if I'd start, so I won't. But still, her mom dies when Donkey's BORED. So HILARIOUS!** I never new my father. Thats it." i said

"we BOTH no thats not the full story. Your a vampire, like me" **Where did that come from?**

-omfg i'm NOT a frickin vampire! I think id have noticed u total dipshit"

"you don't drink human blood"- he asked ***Facepalm***

"i dont drink any blood u asshole. Is this ur idea of a joke, cos no ones laughing!" **I am** i got out of the car and ran away feeling insulted.i didnt want to see that stupid hawt jerk ever again! I went home. But i couldnt get rid of the memory of his sharp erection and deadly cold body. **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!** i cut myself **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NO. Just. NO** and went to sleep in tears.

**AN: I think I just lost a few braincells along the way, which is too bad, because I've got a Math's test tomorrow, and I wasn't that good at Math to begin with… Anyway, five down, only three chapters to go now! Please review on the way out and see you later!**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Hey everyone! First of all, Thank you I'm awesome and y'all know it for reviewing!**

**Warnings: Non-graphic love making. Just one sentence really. And some almost-rape, so Eddy can come and save the day again… **

**Now, on with the chapter!**

AN - dnt all just attack me for the things writen in this chapter about Tiaas parents, **I don't like this…** i havent explaned everything yet an it will make more sense later. **This story never made sense to begin with…**

Chapter 6 - the curse **Ooooooh, the suspense!**

-Oh ewdard with your skin so white **"Oh Rudolph with your nose so bright"**

Your eyes like amber out of sight **"Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?" Don't judge. It's what this stupidness makes me think of…**

Pale angel in my eyes **What kind of idiocy is this? Seriously**

Hair like gold rosy sunrise- **This is just ridiculous. Stop it!**

I read the words of my poem out quietly. **Oh, it's supposed to be a POEM! Well, it sucks** I had written a poem about Edward, **No, it's a poem about ewdard, whoever that is, and not Edward. (Seriously, check the first sentence…)** i just couldnt help myself. I hated myself for doing it but i couldnt get him out of my mind and it was the only way i could deal with my feelings. **What? By writing sucky poems? I dread the moment Donkey starts thinking about songs…** Soddenly my mind went black and i felt into a trance. **This seems to happen a lot. Are you sure you're allright?** A tall pale man stood in front of me all ghosty and misty like he was only half there.

"my daugher? My daughter?" he moaned

"who are you?" **You're kidding me right? He says "my daughter". How much more clues do you want?** i wispa quietly

"i am your FATHER! **NO SHIT SHERLOCK!** I AM CAIUS FROM THE VOLTURI! **Caius has BLONDE hair, hun. Not black** Your in terror and peril my daugher! Beware the vampire boy called edward!" **Something I've been saying since chapter one…**

"why?" I said

"you mussent let him sex you **GROWN-UPS DON'T TALK LIKE THAT! Especially not if said grown-up is 3000 years old…** or the curse your mother tried to protect you from will fall on you...you'll become a VAMPIRE! **You can't become a vampire from having sex with one…** And you will never be safe! Only as a human can you be safe from them..." **I thought humans were supposed to be their food? Then how on EARTH's she safe from vampires?** then he faded and I was awake and uncle larry was standing at my door.

"take ur clothes off now you moldy **What's that?** slut! " said uncle larry and he smiles horribly with his yellow teeth

"no i wont" i screamed but uncle larry came over and hit me. I was strong for my size but he was a huge fat man like 300 pounds **I'm surprised he's still able to walk…** in weight and stronger than me. He took my clothes off and chained me to the bed . I new he was going to rape me again. But at that moment someone came running into the room and hit uncle larry across the head with a stick and knocks him out cold. ***Facepalm*** Uncle larry laid there bleeding and i looked up at...EDWARD! **Eddy needs a STICK to knock out a simple human being? Pathetic…**

"omg my sweet lady" he cried! "what has this frightful asshole been doing to thee?" **Ain't that obvious?**

"he's been raping me and hitting me" i weeped sadly as edward unchained me and i put my clothes on. Edward turned away whale I dressed so he wasnt perving on me , **If he didn't want to "perv" on you he should've looked away while unchaining you… And 'sides, with you throwing yourself at him every chance you get there's nothing about you he hasn't seen anyway…** and he looked down at the poem I had wroten.

"for truth!these are the most beautiful words I have ever seen, **What, that piece of crap?** it makes me feel so very moved" he cried "i wish i wasnt promised to someone else then i could write poems for thee" **Well, thank god you can't…**

"why are u promised to bella anyways" i ask **None of your business**

" Be cause i made a promise and i cant' break it, it would be rude and ungentalmanly. **So are your moodswings. You're even worse than Donkey…** Bella never used to be like she is now,when i fist met her she was sweet and shy and was never nasty **Bella was ALWAYS nasty and ALWAYS moody, so nothing's changed…** about everybody but she has changed and so have her freinds. **Bella was never friends with Lauren…** I dont know watt made her change, maybe it is mine fault, she just seems angry all the time now." ***Facepalm***

"Yah that makes sense I guess" i said. **No, it doesn't. Not a bit**

We left the house and went to walk in the woods. We talked about loads of things and it turned out we had a lot in comnon. We liked all the same music and movies and books and stuff, it was like magic. **Oh, please.**

"you know maybe bella is unhappy be cause you guys are not in love like u used to be, and u should brake up with her so she can move on and your can both be happy" i say **Keep your so-called wisdom with you please…**

"she all ways used to say that shed kill herself if I left her. I could not be responsable for her death! I just don't get what has happened to her she used to be nice and sweet like thou my lady. **SOMEONE GET MY BUCKET!** And now i am falling in love with thou and it is all such a darn mess!" **You can say that again…** He hit a tree in frustration and it broke. He was so strong, i guess cause he was a vampire. ***Facepalm* No SHIT Sherlock!**

"your falling in love with me?" i ask, my cheeks going all red and my heart starting to sore

"omg, forget I said that!" he looked relay embarassed and it was so cute. **Not cute, just stupid** He had a big erection too. **Ew.**

I retched out and grabbed his hard throbbing male object. **Make it stop now!** We couldn't controll ourselves any more and we both fell down on the floor and got naked and made love. It was amazing and lasted hours and I had never been so happy in my life i felt like i coud die with happines. **Please do. Please just DIE** But after a while edward started to freak out and cry.

"I HAVE BEEN SUCH A FOOL!" **Tell me about it…** he screamed "i should not have let that hapen! I hope thee can forgive me, i must return to Bella!" and he ran away.

I could not believe it. It was like my world was caving in all about me. i was so socked and angry i could not even cry or scream. **It's your own fault, sweetheart** But as i lay there i started to fell diferent, like RELAY diferent. **I think I get it, you know. You don't have to repeat EVERYTHING** I suddenly remembed watt my father had said to me about not making sex **"Making sex" Can this get any worse?** with edward or he woud turn me into a vampire! My skin was getting all hard and pale and my eyes could suddenly see a lot clearer than before! I could hear lots of little noises even form relay far away. I even wanted to drink blood! and i could smell a human comin closer, he was almost here

"There you are you horrid SLUG " **I KNOW RIGHT!** it was uncle larry "where have u been? I'm goin to rape u now!" **And apparently, it CAN get worse… Yay for me**

Something in me snaped. I jumped at him and broke his neck and drank his blood! i had always ben strong for my size **So? Larry was still stronger** but now i was SUPER strong!He looked so surprised and it was so GOOD! Soon i dropped him on the floor and he was...dead! **Too bad. I liked him**

**AN: Well everyone. Another chapter done (thank GOD), only two to go now! Please review and see you later!**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Hey everyone! Not dead, I promise! Just busy… Anyway, Thank you I'm awesome and y'all know it for reviewing!**

**Warnings: Sort-of-blowjob at the end of the chapter. I'll put in an extra warning before that, though :)**

**Now, on with the chapter!**

thanx for the revews! **No, YOU thank you for this beautiful source of entertainment…**

Chapter 7 - Surprises! **Oh, boy. I hate surprises…**

I woke up sheepishly **How can you do that?** and wandered where I was for a minute. I got out of bed, **Wait. When did you get in bed?** wandering if all the things that had hapened to me last night were just a dream. **In that case, it would have been a nightmare… **I went downstairs for breakfast and sat down with Dave and Marie. **When did they get home?** THey look at me and smiles adoringly.

"wow tiaa i love your new hair and contat lenses, your look so beautiful!" said marie **Not creepy at all…** with her face all bright and happiness.

I got up and look in a mirror. Holly shite! I looked totally diffrent! **NO SHIT!** For the first time I could see my face was truely beautiful, it was even prettier than before. **But… You thought it was ugly (I agree, by the way. Still ugly, by the way…)** My eyes were a weird silver color like wet pools of noble moonlight in distant medows, **Oh, god** and my ivory gold hair seemed to shimmer like the suns burned rays in the morning, **Oooh, god** with the purple streaks shining like neon lilac. **No.** I was radiant and magical and looked awesome. **NO.** My skin was even more pale than before and my features more delicate and queen-like, my nose was small and dashing and my cheeks were high and pale and my chin was soft but majestic. **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY BUCKET! WHERE IS IT?!** I was amazed. Suddenly the phone rang and nuked **What?** me out of my silent staring. Dave answered it.

"what? oh my god! Your kidding! This is inconsideratable!" **This is… What exactly?** and he hung up

"whats happened honey?" Marie asked smiling** Her cheeks must be hurting! Seems to me smile is all she does…**

"uncle larryis died, it looks like he was ripped apart by a wild beast! I feel so sad! he was my brother"

I suddenly remembered what I had done, and i screamed and ran to school.** Right. Not suspicious at all…** I felt so awful and giulty for what I had done! I new uncle larry was a perv and a rasist **Why is he a racist? I don't get it…** and even thou he had raped me and tied me up and spanked me and made my life hell I still shoudnt have killed him! **You just gave… 4 reasons why you should…** I was going to explode with guilt. i ran through the forest towards the school but suddenly a large thing appeared in front of me. it was a bear - a big panda bear!** PANDA BEARS? IN WASHINGTON? WHAT THE…** it was huge and fluffy and realy cute, but I was scared as this was a totally weird thing to happen. **This whole story is weird…**

"greetings atlantaina!" **A new one! I hadn't seen this variation yet!** it said - i was totally freaked out - since when did panda bears live in Forks? **Something I'd like to know** And since when did they SPEAK? **Don't ask me, it's your story…** I was totally confused

"WTF?" i screamed!

"I'm a panda bear, my name is Snooflanti-tatuna **What kind of name is THAT?**but you can call me Snoofles." **What?**

"A talking PANDA BEAR?" i shouted furiously

"I cannot talk like humans can, but your not human anymore so you can understand me. **DON'T MAKE HER FEEL SPECIAL! She's got enough of an ego as it is… No need to make it even bigger…** You can talk to animals. **Stop it** You probably have other powers too you just don't know it yet" **No seriously, stop it!**

"like watt?" i said

"I dunno, touch that tree" **Why?** said Snoofles, smiling at me. **I don't think I like this…** I touched the tree and consentrated hard and even though it was winter the tree suddenly started to bloom huge bunches of flowers. **What. The. Fuck** The flowers cascadad down like a river onto the bare forest floor. i took my hand away in horror. The flowers were so beautiful they made me think of edward. **As does everything else** then i remembered how he had left me after we had made love, and i became angry. I touched another tree and it burst into flames. **OI! Poor tree!** It was as if the trees turned into things that somehow reflected how I was feeling!** No. NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

"OMG, how is this possible?" i said

"Don't ask me I'm just a panda, lol" **Riiiiiight…** said Snoofles with a big grin **Creep.** and he raised his eyebows, **Does a panda have eyebrows?** "but I'm so happy to find a person who can understand my speaking! i al; ways wanted a human friend! **But… You just said she's not human…** will you be my human friend?" **SHE'S NOT HUMAN!**

"well yah ok" i said, "but i have to go to school now so I'll see you later Snoofles ok?"

"that's cool" said Snoofles "i'll see you later"

I ran away and was totaly weirded out by my meeting with Snoofles. **Trust me, honey. You're not the only one** I was almost in a trance at school and even though people starred at me and made coments about my new apperance I had never cared less.** But you still note the fact they make comments…**

in gym class I ran around dressed in my gym clothes. **And here I was thinking you'd be wearing a bikini…** i was playing dodgball and the cleerleaders kept throwing there balls at me realy hard like biaches but i was dodging them at the speed of light. **I'm having an awful flashback to that point where Twila does the same with her hair…** Lauren came over to me and tries to hit me over the face with her balls and I slapped her in the face.

"WTF you freaky goth tudor **I happen to LOVE the Tudors! Stop it!**bitch!" she shouted with her ugly face flapping like a big bag** Ew. Gross**

"leave me alone yeah?" i said looking more beautiful than ever** And again she somehow finds the time to remind us how INCREDIBLY good looking she is…**

"no - ill never leave u alone becase your so werid! what has hapened to your face its like your from another planet, **Is that an insult or a compliment?** your so pale and delicate **I'm pretty sure calling someone "delicate" is a compliment…** its freaking everyone out and we all hate you!"

I was so mad i pushed her but when my hands touched her arms her skin started to blister and froth in a totally gross way **What?** and she got struck by a bolt of lightning. **What?** She wasnt dead or anything **Riiiight…** but she looked totally disgusting and she got taken to the hospital.

I didnt look for my friends and after gym class I sat in the changing rooms after everyone has left and cried becase I felt so sorry for watt I had done to uncle larry and to lauren. I was sat there wearing **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!** a very short leather mini-dress and red ripped tights and a skull necklace and a gothic top hat with feathers on it.** Why would ANYONE want to wear THAT?** Suddenly I heard a voices from behind me

"Tiaa? Tiaa? It is I Edward Cullen!" said edward.** What the **** is he doing in the LADIES changing room? **i turned to kook at him and he gasped in a high piched way and fell over onto the floor. **SO charming…** I was mad at him and totaly upset about other stuff so i didnt check to see if he was ok. **Dear GOD. PLEASE stop it!**He got up in a minute.

"I fainted Tiaa, **What?** thou is so sexy and exqisite **No she's not.** i lost my contentioness. **Your what? Your senses, probably, since you seem to have got the impression Donkey's PRETTY** Thy face is even more sacred and filled with shinning glory than before, **BUCKET! I NEED YOU!** I am amazed" but then he noticed I was crying tears of soft blood **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT HERE TOO!** and he said "what is wrong with thee?" said Edward **Everything is wrong with her**

"I killed someone Ewadrd! **Yay! Another new one!** I killed my uncle and drank his blood and I think I made lauren get stuck by lightning" **Oh, you THINK?**

"its ok Tiaa he was evil and noone cares about lauren" Edward says **Such a nice guy…** to comfort me and he put his arms round me

"still watt i did was awfull and anyways GET OFF ME!" **Wow, sudden moodswing!** i stood up and shock him off me "dont come near me ever again! I havent forgiven you for whatt happened last night! We did sex and you left me there in the forest!"

"I'm sorry! **What for?** I cannot stay away from thee and yet I cannot be with thee either"** Oh, please** he cried and threw his hands up and weeped ***Facepalm***

"make your mind up Ewdard! this is a serious thing! **No, not really** Ether stay here with me now and screw me and be with me forrever ***Screams for five uninterrupted minutes*** or leave and go be with Bella! Make youre choice right now!"

"I choose thee Atlantnina! **YAY! The best one yet!** Bella is a big mean cow ***Facepalm***and I cant be with her anymore! I will never leave thou side again my lovley damsell!" ***Bangs head into wall* Seriously though. This is SO INCREDIBLY STUPID!**

He started to cry **He already was crying** and I kissed him. He was so amazing. His yellow eyes and tussled aubon hair and pale skin made me want to screw him all the time, **Please don't. I could barely handle that one time. Had nightmares for the next week** I'd never seen anybody look so perfect. **Lestat. Harry Styles. Louis Tomlinson. Niall Horan. Liam Payne. Zayn Malik. Murtagh. Jaime Lannister. Draco Malfoy. Fred and George Weasley. Tom Riddle. Sirius Black. Spencer Reid. And many more! Many perfect examples of people even BETTER LOOKING than Eddy… And by the way, people against horrible lemons, stop reading NOW** I took off my dress so I was only wearing my underwear and i sat on his knee and we kissed a lot. He touched me all over and I felt dizzy and week.

"Do you mean it edward? You'll be mine forrever?"

"I does, i shall be thy mate" he said beautifully in his smooth hot velvet voice **Oh, PLEASE stop!**

I found some handcuffs on a bench **What? I don't want to know how those got there…** and I tied him to a hook. he was unable to move and i took his pants down and looked at his throbbing lavender man-fruit thing. **Oh no. I thought we were past this. "throbbing lavender man-fruit thing". Dear GOD MAKE IT STOP!** It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and I put it in my mouth and sucked it and he thrusted madly untill he had an orgasm in my mouth. The hot juice flowered in my mouth and it was magical. **Not really the word I was looking for…** Sodenly a voice came from behind me

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING YOU EVIL RODENT **What?** PEOPLE?I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU BOTH AND NOW I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF!"** Please do, whoever you are, although I have stinking suspicion. Please do.**

It was Bella Swan! **I KNEW IT!**

**AN: Well, thank GOD that's over. Anyway this was the second to last chapter! Only one chapter to go now! Please review and see you later!**


End file.
